Community of Change with Nancy Christie

“One can travel this world and see nothing. To achieve understanding it is necessary not to see many things, but to look hard at what you do see.”

—Giorgio Morandi

“I was two years into a period of reinventing myself personally and professionally when I got word from my sister that having Mom living in her house was, shall we say, less than optimal. Mom was 77 and she was ‘difficult,’ as mothers and people can be. In a poem called ‘Redemption,’ I had described my childhood as ‘Barbed wire years, until one day, a-tiptoe through the compound, and I'd cut and run before she caught my scent.’ Despite my own circumstances and my history with my mother, the decision to support her toward the end of her life was not something I deliberated over.

Still, I was afraid. I cornered a sister at one point and said in a freaked out little voice, ‘This is going to change me and I don't know how.’ I was headed down a path of choices with numerous lessons of acceptance. With each step, after initial resistance, I rechose the unknown. As Mom and I moved down our path together, I swung back and forth between resistance to, and embracing, what was. In order to make it through her decade of decline, I retrofitted myself and many of my relationships. As I destroyed my habitual ways of surviving, she and I built something new.

Helping my mother was an act of building and destruction. I destroyed structures that had protected me, and in doing so built a new experience of my mother, and myself. It seems that destruction is a necessary part of the process of redeeming a relationship, a life, or oneself.”
- Holly—Fremont, NH

"As you said in your book: 'Think about time when you are engaged in a project that you truly enjoyed. You wanted to do the work, you enjoyed it, and you threw yourself into it wholeheartedly; and when you actually working on it, you talked about it....in every aspect, it was a fulfilling experience.'

"This was like that! I lived that, and when I was reading your words, I smiled. Thank you for your writing these feelings."
- Esra Makara of Istanbul, Turkey

“In 2003 I got divorced. At the same time, I was diagnosed with Mono (for the fourth time) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I had been an Aerobic Fitness Director and instructor as well as a personal trainer for 10-plus years and that is how everyone knew me. [But] when I was diagnosed with CFS, my symptoms were so bad that my own doctors questioned whether or not it was something more---like Muscular Sclerosis. I was terrified for many reasons. First and foremost, I had two little boys to raise. Secondly, I had to retire from something I loved—teaching. I didn't know who I was outside of fitness. But then I began to realize something. Now that I wasn't cramming my head with choreography every day and focusing on the next class, I had time to do other things. I began writing and practicing yoga. Luckily, I did not have MS and my CFS is now under control. [And] over time, I made peace with letting go of the old me. I understood that sometimes you have to close one door to let another one open.”
Jodi—Boardman, OH

"Dear Nancy, I wanted to let you know I just finished your book and loved it! I have been on a ‘choice’ kick lately, writing and speaking about how we are who we are because of the choices we make. Your book fit in nicely, and reinforced what I have been speaking/writing about. A short story... I was sitting at my son's orchestra concert and noticed another mom I have always envied. She is a health-food nut and a long-distance runner, looks great and always has energy. I was coveting her life as I sat there, 15 pounds overweight and sorely out of shape. Then I stopped myself and said, 'Quit complaining. I am how I am because of the choices I've made. Either accept my current situation or change it!' I've decided to change it, and sit at my computer today with sore muscles, but new resolve. Of course, I've been here before, but a lot of your book spoke to me, and I'm going at it with a new attitude. So thank you! You shared yourself, had great advice and covered some of the aspects of change I hadn't even thought of."
Laurie — Fargo, North Dakota

Dear Nancy, I wrote to you the end of December last year [and] told you then that your book inspired me to go back to school. I just wanted to let you know that I have completed my first semester in clinical massage therapy successfully. It was an awful lot of hard work, but it sure felt good to finish! Now on to semester two!"
Update: "Hi Nancy, Just wanted to let you know that I just completed my 2nd semester of college, and made the Dean's list both semesters! Whenever I would get discouraged, I always picked up your book. I do thank you again."
Update: “10 weeks to go, and I will be finished with school. It truly is hard to believe that time has gone by so fast. Graduation is May 5th. What a day that will be, taking a 3.81 GPA right to the sky. I do thank you for that. You pointed me in the direction to do so with your book. As always, best regards, Cindy.”
Update: Hi Nancy, I just wanted to drop you a quick note and keep you posted. It truly is hard to believe, but this coming week is my last week of school. Finals are Tuesday and Thursday...cross your fingers! I found out last week that I will graduate with honors. It's going to be a bittersweet week for me, but I look forward to the future filled with hope and confidence. My goal is to help my clients to the best of my ability. Working as a Clinical Massage Therapist is going to be just as rewarding to me as it is to the client, and that brings great joy to me.
Cindy — South Bend, Indiana